Aayan

'You better not mess this up, if my sister comes home crying, you're done for'

I stare at the text Kanishk sent a few minutes ago, my eyes drifting over the greenery around me. I sit restlessly on the bench, fingers tapping against my knee. He and I had agreed on this, bringing Kaynaaz here, to this quiet garden, so I could finally talk to her without fearing she'd slip away before I even began.

Kanishk had asked for Kyra's help at the last minute, and she should be dropping her sister off any moment now.

Today's the day. If she agrees, if she understands, I'll be the happiest man on earth. But if she refuses, if she lets that fear she clings to decide for her, then it won't be her who Kanishk has to worry about walking back home in tears.

It'll be me.

My eyes nervously scan the empty garden, lingering on the paths and trees as if searching for signs of her. My hands, slick with sweat and hesitation, clench before I rub them against my jeans. I'd had the garden closed for the evening, just for her and me, so there'd be no distractions, no interruptions and no way for her to slip away with another excuse.

She won't escape the truth today. Not when I've been clutching these feelings with a desperation that defies reason, ignoring every fear that she might tear them apart, dismiss them, or push them away. Whatever it takes, she'll have to face this, face me.

"Aayan?" I hear a calm voice call out my name from a distance.

I don't need to turn to know she's here. I don't even have to look to feel her presence wrap around me. Her voice drags me into a haze, pulling me away from everything else, away from the world, and forcing me to imagine what it would be like to hear it every day, every waking moment. To be called out by her, soft and sweet... just like she did a moment ago, as if that sound alone could undo me.

"Dr. Khan," She calls again, forcing me to leave my peaceful imagination and face the truth of why we're both here in the first place.

I turn my head and spot her by the edge of the fountain at the garden's centre. She's dressed in her usual baggy jeans and an oversized t-shirt, the fabric clinging softly to the curves she tries so hard to hide. Her hair is tied up in a messy knot atop her head. When she catches me staring, she follows my gaze, and without a word, hurriedly undoes the knot.

Her hair tumbles down her back in a silky cascade, a soft, natural wave that catches the last light of the evening sun, glimmering like strands of liquid gold as it flows with effortless grace.

"Kaynaaz." I breathe out, not realising I had been holding onto my breath that long.

I spring up from my seat and move toward her without thinking. She looks up at me, tilting her head as if trying to get a clearer view, her eyes locked on mine. A faint frown tugs at her lips, soft and vulnerable, and it takes everything in me not to bend down and press my mouth to it, to erase it with a kiss.

"What are you doing here? Kyra dropped me off and asked me to wait here, and she hasn't come back yet. I don't even have my car." She rambles, confusion clouding her words, her eyes flicking between me and the garden path.

I don't answer right away. I just stand there, staring at her, letting the silence stretch between us. She frowns slightly, unsure whether I heard her.

"I... thought it'd be quieter here," I finally say, my voice softer than I intended. "Less crowded. Easier to... talk."

Her eyes narrow, curiosity and wariness mixing. "Talk? About what?"

I glance away for a moment, as if the answer sits too close to the surface and I need time to breathe. The evening air feels heavier, the fading sunlight slipping through the leaves like hesitant fingers.

"I don't know how to explain it," I mumble, my gaze returning to her. "I just... needed you to be here. That's all."

"So, you asked Kyra to drop here alone? She seriously agreed to this?" She sighs, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

I shake my head, "It wasn't her, it was Kanishk, he planned it."

"My brother... my brother actually agreed to you kidnapping me to some unknown place and leaving me here with you?" She stares at me in disbelief, her eyes wide with both irritation and amusement.

I shrug, a small smirk playing at the corner of my lips. "Well... technically, it's not kidnapping if he knows you're here. And Kyra's the one who dropped you off."

She scoffs, crossing her arms. "You guys are unbelievable." Her eyes sweep the garden, taking in the quiet paths, the empty benches, the way the shadows stretch under the trees. "We could've just talked at the hospital during my internship hours. Why here... in a completely abandoned garden?"

I don't answer immediately. I just watch her, taking in the sparkle of curiosity in her eyes, the way her lips purse before she questions me further. A soft breeze lifts strands of her hair, letting them dance around her face. She lets out a quiet 'aww' as she gazes around, as if seeing beauty where others wouldn't bother to look. My heart tightens, then warms at the sight. For a brief moment, the world narrows down to her, the way the evening light catches the curves of her cheek, the soft waves of her hair, the innocence of wonder in her eyes.

"Would you have listened if I wanted to talk to you at the hospital?" I ask, watching her carefully.

She pauses, her eyes searching my face as if weighing the question. After a brief hesitation, she looks back at me and nods slowly. "Of course I would. Why wouldn't I?"

"Then why exactly..." I take a step closer, leaning in until our faces are almost inches apart. "Ms. Rajvanshi, why have you been running away from me all week?"

I raise an eyebrow, letting the silence press against her. "Every time I think I finally have a moment alone with you, you scurry away with some excuse. And it's not even like before, where you tried to avoid me quietly. This time, you've been openly ignoring me. Pretending I don't even exist."

Her eyes lock with mine for a moment, and guilt flashes across them. She draws in a small breath, as if searching for the right words, but then breaks eye contact and looks away.

"I wasn't ignoring you," she murmurs, trying to explain, "I was genuinely just busy."

"Busy ignoring me," I press, my voice low and edged.

"No, Aayan... I wasn't ignoring you." She shakes her head quickly, desperation creeping into her tone. "The hospital's been hectic, you know that."

She hesitates, as if afraid to say more, then continues softly, "And with everything with Dad and then Kyra and all that's been happening..." Her words trail off, unfinished, the weight of unspoken troubles hanging between us.

I take another step closer, the evening breeze tangling in her hair, my patience fraying. "Busy?" I echo sharply. "Kaynaaz, this isn't about work. You've made it clear all week, you've been avoiding me. And don't give me excuses about hospitals or family."

Her eyes flash, lips pressing into a thin line, jaw tight. "I- It's not like that!" she snaps, voice shaking slightly. "I've just, I have a lot going on, okay? You don't understand..."

"Oh, I understand just fine!" I cut in, heat rising in my chest. "I understand that every time I try to be near you, you run. You pretend I don't exist! You push me away like I'm nothing!"

Her hands curl into fists at her sides. "I'm not pretending anything!" she retorts, her voice cracking. "I'm just, just... It's complicated!"

I take a slow breath, stepping closer, letting the tension build between us. "Oh, really?" I snap. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you've been running from me the entire week. Every word, every excuse, you've been avoiding me, Kaynaaz! Don't try to twist this!"

Her eyes dart away, and she bites her lip, struggling to find words. Her chest rises and falls rapidly, and finally, in a small, hurried voice, almost spilling before she can stop herself, she blurts out:

"I... I've been avoiding you... because of your kiss."

Her words hang in the air, fragile yet explosive. I freeze for a heartbeat, letting them sink in. Because of my kiss...

My chest tightens, a mix of disbelief and heat roaring through me. "...You... what?" My voice is low, rougher than I meant, and I can feel it vibrating against the quiet garden.

She swallows hard, eyes darting away, cheeks burning. "I... I didn't mean to... I just..." Her words stumble over themselves, leaving everything unsaid.

The breeze lifts strands of her hair around her face, and the soft light glints off her skin. I can't help the shiver of need and frustration that rolls through me.

"You've been avoiding me... because of my kiss," I murmur, almost to myself, letting the words taste her, savour her reaction. My hand twitches as if to reach out, but I hold it back, letting the tension hang between us, thick and electric.

Her eyes flicker away, and she bites her lip, chest heaving as if holding back more than just words. Then, in a rush of exasperation and confession, she blurts out:

"That stupid kiss... and your stupid habit of always catching me off guard! And my... my habit of giving in to you every single time. I can't!" She throws her hands up slightly, frustration and vulnerability tangled together. "Every time I see you, I don't know what I want... or what you want. I can't decide!"

Her voice trembles at the end, a mixture of anger at herself and helplessness, and I can feel it all piercing me, the confusion, the longing, the weight of every unspoken thing between us.

I take a careful step closer, my gaze fixed on hers, letting the words settle in, feeling the raw intensity of everything she's just admitted.

Her breath catches, and I see it, her vulnerability, her denial of her own feelings, the little tremor of wanting she refuses to name. The heat in my chest grows, and I realise just how much I've wanted to hear her say something, anything about it, even as she tries to hide it.

For a long moment, we just stand there, eyes locked, the garden around us forgotten.

"Kaynaaz..." I murmur, taking another careful step closer. "I want you. From the start... that's all I've ever wanted. Every time, every moment, this, you, everything, it's always been you."

Her eyes widen, searching mine, disbelief and something softer, something vulnerable, flickering across her features.

"What do I do," I continue, my tone barely above a whisper now, "to make you realise that? How do I make you see... that I've been wanting you all along?"

Her lips part slightly, and for the first time, the walls she's built around herself seem to falter. The evening breeze lifts strands of her hair, brushing against her cheeks, and the world around us disappears, leaving only the weight of her confession and my desperate honesty hanging between us.

Her eyes flash, hurt and fury battling in equal measure. "If you'd wanted me... You wouldn't have left."

I swallow, caught in the intensity of her gaze. "I didn't leave-"

Her voice cuts me off, sharp and trembling. "Don't! Don't you dare try to explain. You left me! You gave me hope, Aayan! You made me believe... and then the next day, just disappeared! You left me to deal with everything, all the feelings I didn't even know how to handle. All the you that I had allowed into my heart!"

Her hands clench at her sides, knuckles white, and she takes a step back, creating space between us even though I want to close it. "Do you have any idea how it felt? To wake up expecting you, to wait for you, to feel... everything, and then, nothing? Gone! Like I meant nothing at all. Like I was nothing!"

Her voice breaks slightly, but the anger doesn't fade. "Do you know how hard it was to carry all that, your kiss, your words, your presence, and then have it ripped away from me? And you... You just left!"

I remain silent, letting her words hit me, burning into my chest. Her eyes are stormy, almost daring me to speak, to try and fix it. And I know, before I say anything, that she's right to feel betrayed, because the hope I left her with, the way I disappeared the next day, it's a wound I can't just smooth over with excuses.

But do they even know? 

I think, staring at the ground between us, at the way the shadows stretch across her face. The nights I spent lying awake, running over every word we said, every stolen moment, wishing I could have held her again. The nights when I wanted nothing more than to tell her everything... and yet had to tear my heart out and walk away. The nights when the memory of her smile, her laugh, the way her hair fell across her shoulders, was enough to make my chest ache like it would split open.

I left her knowing that she would be alone with her feelings, knowing that she would carry confusion and hurt I should have helped her with. And I couldn't even be there. I had no choice. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. God, it tore me apart to leave her. To pretend that I could be anywhere else, while all I wanted was to stay. To stay, to tell her everything I'd been dying to say, to hold her and never let go.

I lift my gaze to her, seeing the storm in her eyes, the hurt she's been carrying, and the guilt and pain threaten to choke me. She thinks I left her willingly. She thinks I abandoned her. And the truth is, the pain of leaving her, of denying myself the one thing I've always wanted, was worse than anything I've ever faced.

I step closer, my voice low, almost a whisper, careful not to let anger or frustration touch it. "Kaynaaz..." I begin, letting the silence stretch between us, giving her space to breathe, to listen. "I didn't leave because I wanted to. I... I had no choice. But it tore me apart to walk away from you, even for a moment."

"I wished, every second I was gone, that I could have stayed," I continue, my words slow, deliberate. "That I could have spent more time with you, told you everything I wanted to say, held you through every feeling you had, every confusing, beautiful, maddening feeling. I had to leave before I could do any of it."

I pause, letting the weight of it sink in, letting her feel the truth without it landing on her as blame. "I know it hurt you, and it hurt me too. I had to fight every part of myself just to walk away. I never wanted you to feel abandoned. I never wanted you to carry that alone."

Her lips part slightly, and I can see the flicker of sadness, the understanding, but not guilt. That's what I wanted, to let her feel the weight of my pain, the longing I carried for her, without her blaming herself for it.

"I never stopped wanting you, Kaynaaz," I whisper, the words barely brushing the air between us. "Even when I wasn't there, even when it seemed like I'd left, you were all I thought about."

I take a step closer, the space between us shrinking until I can feel the warmth radiating from her. Slowly, carefully, I lift my hand and cup her cheek, letting my thumb brush along her skin. My voice drops, low, almost trembling.

"Kaynaaz..." I murmur, my forehead nearly touching hers. "I can't... I can't keep this in anymore. I wanted you... all of you... from the very beginning. Every word you said, every glance, every moment we shared, it's all been with you. Only you."

Her eyes flicker, darting away, searching the garden as if it might give her an excuse, a way out. But I don't let her pull back. My other hand reaches up slowly, tangling in the strands of her hair at the nape of her neck, holding her just a little closer.

"I've been dying," I confess, voice breaking slightly, desperate, raw. "Dying to tell you... to show you... to have you with me. I've waited for every moment, every second... hoping you'd see it. Hoping you'd want it too."

Her body warms to my touch, and for a moment, I see it, the flicker of conflict, the storm behind her gaze. Her lips part, then press into a thin line, as if trying to deny herself, to hold back what she feels. The struggle is written across her features, every subtle shift betraying the walls she's desperately clinging to.

I close my eyes for a fraction of a second, letting the ache of her silence wash over me. "Please," I whisper, my voice almost a groan now. "Say something... anything. Don't make me beg for a word from you."

Her gaze flickers to mine, a storm of conflict raging in her eyes. She opens her mouth, then closes it again, lips trembling as if the words she wants to say are caught somewhere between fear and desire.

"Aayan..." she breathes, her voice barely audible, shaky, hesitant. Her hand lifts slightly, as though she wants to reach for me, but it falters midair, retreating again.

I step closer, gently tilting her chin up with my hand, desperate to meet her eyes fully. "I'm right here," I murmur, leaning in. "I'm not going anywhere. Just... tell me you feel it too. Just a little."

Her eyes dart away, searching the garden as if it might offer her an escape, a reason to deny herself. Her chest rises and falls rapidly, and I can feel the tension tightening between us, the unspoken longing, the walls she refuses to let down.

I close the gap just a little more, my forehead brushing hers, desperate, tender. "Kaynaaz... please. Don't make me bear this alone," I whisper, voice thick with emotion. "I can't."

Her lips part again, but no words come. And the ache of silence hits me like a physical blow, a jagged shard slicing straight through my chest. My fingers, still tingling from the warmth of her skin, tremble as I pull my hand away from her cheek, as if letting go of her is a piece of myself I'll never get back.

My chest tightens, lungs constricting with the weight of every unspoken word, every hope I carried for this moment, every confession I poured out into the air that now feels unbearably heavy. My heart pounds against my ribs like it's trying to escape, thrashing against the cage of my own despair, but there's nowhere for it to go.

I take a step back, and with it, the warmth, the nearness, the fragile possibility of closeness slips away from me. My throat tightens, a harsh lump forming that I can't swallow down, and the garden around us seems impossibly empty, even though it's the same as it's always been.

Every beat of my heart is a reminder of what I've lost before I even had it. Every breath I take tastes of longing and defeat, and the raw ache of loving her so fiercely while she denies herself and me feels like it might crush me from the inside out.

Her eyes widen, a flicker of panic crossing her face. "Aayan, listen..."

I take a shaky breath, my shoulders slumping slightly, and my voice, low and rough, escapes in a whisper. "I... I can't keep doing this, Kaynaaz. I can't keep pouring everything into someone who won't meet me halfway. I'm... I'm tired."

"Just.." she tries again.

Her hand reaches out instinctively, a desperate motion to stop me, but I don't move closer. I take a slow, steadying breath, then turn my back to her. Each step away is heavy, weighted with longing and loss, and I feel the hollow ache of every hope I've carried for her sliding further from my grasp.

And for the first time, it isn't her turning away. It's me, clutching my shattered heart, stepping back from the woman I crave, burning with desire and the bitter ache of knowing she might never be mine.